A Self-Evaluation for Prospective Adoptive Families

Adoption is a beautiful and life-changing commitment, but it’s okay to have questions, doubts, and mixed emotions at the start. This questionnaire isn’t a test, and there are no right or wrong answers. It’s here to help you reflect honestly on your motivations, expectations, and readiness to welcome a child into your life.

Take your time. Talk through the answers with your partner, a trusted friend, or an adoption professional.

Motivation & Expectations

1. Why do we want to adopt? What’s drawing us to this path?
   
   
2. Are we adopting to build a family or to "fix" something in our current one?
   
   
3. How do we feel about the possibility of long wait times or uncertain timelines?
   
   
4. Are we open to different adoption paths (infant, foster-to-adopt, international, etc.)? Why or why not?
   
   
5. Are we prepared to support a child’s connection to their biological family, culture, or identity?
   
   

Home Life & Stability

1. Is our home safe, stable, and emotionally healthy?
   
   
2. Have we both (or all adults in the home) discussed parenting styles and values?
   
   
3. Are we financially prepared for the costs of adoption and future child-rearing?
   
   
4. Do we have the flexibility to meet the needs of a child who may need extra time, attention, or support?
   
   

Emotional Readiness

1. Are we ready to put a child’s needs above our own?
   
   
2. Can we handle uncertainty, possible emotional ups and downs, and delays?
   
   
3. Are we open to adopting a child with a history of trauma or medical needs?
   
   
4. Do we have a support system to help us through difficult moments?
   
   

Relationships & Support

1. How does adoption fit into our relationship or marriage right now?
   
   
2. Have we talked to extended family and close friends about our plans? Are they supportive?
   
   
3. Do we know where to find emotional or professional support when needed?
   
   
4. Are we prepared to continue learning, attending trainings, or joining support groups?
   
   

Parenting & Long-Term Commitment

1. What kind of parents do we want to be? Have we considered what a child needs to thrive?
   
   
2. Are we prepared for a lifetime relationship, not just childhood?
   
   
3. How will we talk to our child about their adoption story?
   
   
4. Are we comfortable with open adoption? What boundaries or openness would we feel good about?
   
   

Final Reflection

1. What excites us most about adopting a child?
   
   
2. What scares us?
   
   
3. Are we both/all truly ready, or is one of us hesitant?
   
   
4. What’s the next step we feel comfortable taking today?
   
   

What To Do with This Questionnaire

This isn’t a checklist to pass or fail. It’s a mirror, to help you understand where you’re confident and where you might need more time, support, or reflection.

If you’re feeling hopeful and ready, we’d love to walk with you through the next steps. And if you're unsure, that’s okay too. Exploring adoption at your own pace demonstrates the kind of care and intention that makes wonderful parents.